The Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheta

This blog is part of thinking activity assigned by Ms. Megha  Ma'am Trivedi to critically analyse the motherhood in 21st century,  The Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheta and  film/TV serial/advertisement/web series.

1) If Nnu Ego were living in 21st-century urban India or Africa, how would her understanding of motherhood, identity, and success change?

Introduction

If Nnu Ego, the tragic protagonist of Buchi Emecheta’s The Joy of Motherhood, were transposed into 21st-century urban India or Africa, her understanding of motherhood, identity, and success would be significantly reshaped, though not completely liberated from patriarchal residue. Modernity would offer her new possibilities of selfhood, yet cultural expectations surrounding women and motherhood would continue to exert pressure.

Motherhood: From Sacred Destiny to Negotiated Choice

In traditional Igbo society, motherhood is sacralized and absolutized. A woman’s worth is measured almost entirely by her ability to bear children—especially sons. Nnu Ego internalizes this belief so deeply that childlessness initially drives her to despair and near annihilation of selfhood.

In a 21st-century urban context, however, motherhood would be:

• demystified

• medicalized and planned

• separated from moral worth

Urban India and Africa increasingly acknowledge motherhood as a choice rather than a compulsory destiny, shaped by:

• family planning

• reproductive rights

• economic constraints

• women’s education

Nnu Ego would likely view motherhood as one aspect of life, not its total meaning. Instead of measuring her success by the number of children she produces, she might focus on quality of care, emotional bonds, and balance between self and family.

Most importantly, modern discourse would help her recognize that self-sacrifice is not the same as love, a realization denied to her in the novel.

Identity: From Relational Self to Individual Subject

Nnu Ego’s tragedy lies in the fact that she never develops an identity independent of others. In the novel, she exists only in relation to men and children—as Agbadi’s daughter, Nnaife’s wife, and Oshia’s mother. Her repeated question, “When will I be free?”, reveals her lack of personal autonomy. In a 21st-century urban setting, this limited understanding of identity would be confronted by new possibilities. Urban life encourages women to see themselves as individuals with personal ambitions, opinions, and rights. Through exposure to feminist thought, economic independence, and legal protection, Nnu Ego would gradually learn to view herself as a complete human being rather than merely a functional role. Although cultural conditioning might still cause internal conflict, she would have the language and social space to question her self-effacement and seek personal fulfilment beyond familial obligations.

One of the greatest tragedies of Nnu Ego’s life is the absence of a self beyond relationships. Her identity is entirely relational:

• daughter of Agbadi

• wife of Nnaife

• mother of Oshia and others

She does not exist as an autonomous individual. Her haunting question—

“When will I be free?”

reveals her deep existential entrapment.

In the 21st century, urban spaces foster the idea of the individual woman as a subject, not merely a role-bearer. Exposure to:

• feminist ideologies

• women’s employment

• legal protections

• peer communities

would allow Nnu Ego to conceptualize herself outside marriage and motherhood. She might still struggle emotionally due to cultural conditioning, but she would no longer lack language or frameworks to articulate her suffering.

Thus, her identity would shift from self-erasure to self-recognition, even if imperfectly realized.

Success: From Patriarchal Promise to Human Fulfillment

In traditional society, success for a woman like Nnu Ego is measured by the number of children she bears and the respect she gains through them. She believes that her sacrifices will be rewarded in old age when her children care for her. The novel brutally exposes the failure of this belief when her sons abandon her, leaving her to die alone. In the 21st-century urban context, success is defined far more broadly. Women are increasingly encouraged to pursue financial stability, emotional well-being, dignity, and independence. Nnu Ego might therefore redefine success as living a secure and meaningful life rather than earning posthumous praise. Instead of hoping to be remembered as a “great mother,” she might aspire to be recognized as a fulfilled individual whose life had value beyond sacrifice.

For Nnu Ego, success is defined traditionally as:

• having many children

• securing sons’ loyalty

• gaining social respect in old age

Ironically, this promise collapses cruelly when her children abandon her, revealing the hollowness of patriarchal assurances.

In contemporary urban society, success is:

• plural

• personal

• internally defined

Nnu Ego might redefine success as:

• emotional security

• economic independence

• dignity and self-respect

• mutual care, not one-sided sacrifice

Rather than aspiring to be a “canonized mother” after death, she might seek a life lived with agency and presence.

Conclusion

Thus, if Nnu Ego were living in modern urban India or Africa, her understanding of motherhood, identity, and success would shift from rigid traditional definitions to more flexible and humane interpretations. While traces of patriarchal expectation would persist, she would no longer be trapped within a single narrative of womanhood. Modernity would offer her alternatives that affirm her individuality and dignity.

2) Buchi Emecheta presents motherhood as both fulfilment and burden. Do you think the novel ultimately celebrates motherhood or questions it?

Although The Joy of Motherhood initially appears to celebrate motherhood as sacred and fulfilling, the novel ultimately questions, destabilizes, and critiques motherhood as an institution shaped by patriarchy and colonial modernity.

Motherhood as Ideological Fulfilment

At the beginning of the novel, motherhood is presented as deeply fulfilling. Nnu Ego’s joy at childbirth reflects the cultural belief that children bring honor, continuity, and purpose to a woman’s life. Through these early depictions, Emecheta acknowledges the emotional satisfaction and social recognition that motherhood can provide. This portrayal explains why Nnu Ego clings so desperately to the idea of motherhood, even when it causes her immense suffering.

At the novel’s outset, motherhood is portrayed as:

• the highest female achievement

• a spiritual and cultural duty

• a source of social legitimacy

Nnu Ego’s joy at childbirth reflects a deeply ingrained belief that motherhood grants women immortality through lineage. This belief aligns with traditional African communal values where children ensure continuity and care.

At this stage, Emecheta allows motherhood to appear emotionally fulfilling, reinforcing why women like Nnu Ego embrace it unquestioningly.

Motherhood as Lived Burden

As the narrative progresses, Emecheta gradually exposes the darker reality of motherhood. Nnu Ego’s life becomes a continuous struggle to provide for her children, often at the cost of her health and happiness. Motherhood demands relentless labor but offers no security or recognition in return. Emecheta highlights how maternal sacrifice is normalized and expected, turning motherhood into an exploitative institution rather than a source of joy.

As the narrative progresses, Emecheta strips away the romantic veneer. Motherhood becomes:

• physically punishing

• emotionally exhausting

• economically devastating

Nnu Ego works relentlessly to feed her children while receiving:

• no emotional support

• no financial security

• no recognition

Her suffering exposes motherhood as gendered labour—essential yet unpaid and invisible.

Colonial Capitalism and the Breakdown of Communal Support

The burden of motherhood is intensified by the colonial urban setting of Lagos. Traditional communal support systems that once helped mothers no longer exist, yet patriarchal expectations remain unchanged. Nnu Ego is left isolated, bearing the full weight of maternal responsibility without assistance. This context reveals how colonial modernity worsens women’s suffering by combining economic hardship with traditional gender roles.

One of Emecheta’s sharpest critiques lies in linking motherhood’s burden to colonial urban capitalism. In Lagos:

• communal childcare collapses

• men’s authority remains intact

• women bear responsibility without support

Thus, motherhood is doubly oppressive—rooted in tradition but intensified by colonial modernity.

The Irony of the Title and Ending

The title The Joy of Motherhood is deeply ironic. Nnu Ego dies alone, abandoned by the very children for whom she sacrificed everything. The final chapter, “The Canonized Mother,” exposes the hypocrisy of a society that glorifies women only after their suffering has destroyed them. This ending makes it clear that the novel does not celebrate motherhood uncritically but exposes its tragic cost.

The title The Joy of Motherhood is profoundly ironic. Nnu Ego’s death in isolation exposes the false promise that motherhood guarantees fulfillment or security.

The final chapter, “The Canonized Mother,” condemns a society that:

• exploits women in life

• glorifies them only in death

This canonization is not celebration but satirical indictment.

Does Emecheta Reject Motherhood?

Crucially, Emecheta does not reject motherhood itself. Instead, she questions:

• compulsory motherhood

• sacrificial motherhood

• motherhood as the sole female destiny

The novel calls for a redefinition of motherhood based on choice, reciprocity, and dignity.

Conclusion 

Ultimately, Buchi Emecheta does not reject motherhood itself but questions the romanticized and compulsory form imposed on women. The novel challenges the idea that motherhood is naturally fulfilling and reveals how it becomes oppressive when stripped of choice and support. The Joy of Motherhood thus stands as a powerful critique of the social systems that exploit women under the guise of maternal idealization.

3)  How is motherhood portrayed in a film/TV serial/advertisement/web series (Add two to three examples), and how is it similar to or different from Nnu Ego’s experience in ?

Motherhood in popular visual media such as films, television serials, advertisements, and web series is often idealized, emotionalized, and romanticized. These representations shape social expectations by presenting motherhood as a natural source of joy, fulfillment, and moral superiority. However, when compared with Nnu Ego’s lived experience in Buchi Emecheta’s The Joy of Motherhood, a striking contrast emerges between representational motherhood and experienced motherhood.

Motherhood as Emotional Sacrifice in Film: Taare Zameen Par (2007)

In Taare Zameen Par, motherhood is portrayed as emotionally nurturing and morally redemptive. Ishaan’s mother is shown as caring, anxious, and deeply attached to her child. Although she initially fails to understand Ishaan’s learning difficulties, her love is constant and unquestioned. The film presents motherhood as an emotionally intense bond in which the mother’s suffering is meaningful because it eventually leads to her child’s well-being and success.

This portrayal is similar to Nnu Ego’s experience in the sense that both mothers sacrifice endlessly for their children. Like Ishaan’s mother, Nnu Ego believes that a mother’s duty is to endure suffering silently. However, the difference lies in the outcome. In Taare Zameen Par, maternal sacrifice is ultimately rewarded through the child’s emotional growth and social recognition. In contrast, Nnu Ego’s sacrifices lead to abandonment and loneliness. Her children do not become sources of emotional fulfilment but reminders of broken promises. Thus, while cinema presents sacrifice as purposeful and healing, Emecheta exposes it as tragically futile.

Motherhood as Moral Ideal in Television Serials: Anupamaa

Indian television serials such as Anupamaa portray motherhood as a moral and emotional ideal. Anupamaa is shown as endlessly giving, forgiving, and emotionally available to her children even when they disrespect or exploit her. Motherhood is represented as a woman’s central identity, and suffering is glorified as proof of moral strength. Even when Anupamaa seeks independence, the narrative repeatedly brings her back to her maternal role.

This portrayal closely resembles Nnu Ego’s ideological conditioning. Like Anupamaa, Nnu Ego believes that a good mother must sacrifice everything without expecting anything in return. However, the difference lies in narrative justice. Television serials eventually reward maternal endurance by restoring respect, recognition, or emotional reconciliation. In The Joy of Motherhood, there is no such narrative consolation. Nnu Ego’s life ends without recognition, and society praises her only after her death. Emecheta thus critiques the very ideology that TV serials continue to reinforce—that motherhood must be self-denying and saintly.

Motherhood in Advertisements: “Maa ke Haath ka Khana” (Food Brands / Baby Products)

Advertisements frequently portray motherhood as instinctive, joyful, and emotionally fulfilling. Mothers are shown smiling while cooking, feeding, or caring for their children, suggesting that maternal labor is effortless and naturally rewarding. Pain, exhaustion, and emotional struggle are carefully erased to maintain a comforting image of the selfless mother. Best example is below advertisement how mother carry professional duty with selfless motherhood...

This representation is fundamentally different from Nnu Ego’s reality. While advertisements reduce motherhood to emotional warmth and domestic happiness, Emecheta presents it as physically exhausting and economically oppressive. Nnu Ego’s motherhood involves hunger, labour, and despair rather than smiles and fulfillment. Advertisements create an illusion of maternal joy, whereas The Joy of Motherhood dismantles this illusion by revealing the cost hidden behind such images.

Overall Comparison with Nnu Ego’s Experience

Across films, serials, and advertisements, motherhood is portrayed as meaningful because it is emotionally rewarding, socially recognized, and ultimately fulfilling. Suffering is shown as temporary and purposeful. In contrast, Nnu Ego’s experience reveals motherhood as a lifelong burden shaped by patriarchy, poverty, and colonial modernity. Her suffering is permanent, unacknowledged, and unrewarded.

While popular media often reinforces the myth that motherhood is a woman’s natural destiny and greatest achievement, Emecheta questions this assumption by presenting motherhood as a socially imposed role that erases women’s individuality. Nnu Ego’s tragedy lies not in being a mother but in being denied any identity beyond motherhood.

Conclusion

Motherhood in popular visual media tends to romanticize sacrifice and promise emotional returns, whereas The Joy of Motherhood exposes the harsh reality behind such representations. By contrasting idealized media images with Nnu Ego’s lived experience, Emecheta challenges audiences to reconsider the cultural narratives that glorify maternal suffering while ignoring women’s humanity. The comparison reveals that what is celebrated as “joy” in representation often becomes “tragedy” in lived experience.

References

Barfi, Zahra, et al.   A Study of Buchi Emecheta’s the Joys of Motherhood in the Light of Chandra Talpade Mohanty: A Postcolonial Feminist Theory, www.researchgate.net/publication/333296130_A_Study_of_Buchi_Emecheta%27s_The_Joys_of_Motherhood_in_the_Light_of_Chandra_Talpade_Mohanty_A_Postcolonial_Feminist_Theory. Accessed 29 Jan. 2026. 

kapgate, Laxmikant. Mother’s Intricacy in Buchi Emecheta’s the Joys of Motherhood, www.researchgate.net/publication/384337796_Mother’s_Intricacy_in_Buchi_Emecheta’s_The_Joys_of_Motherhood. Accessed 29 Jan. 2026. 

Khalaf, Mohamed. “Cultural Collision and Women Victimization: A Study of Buchi Emecheta’s the Joys of Motherhood (1979.” Academia.Edu, 29 Feb. 2020, www.academia.edu/42105987/CULTURAL_COLLISION_AND_WOMEN_VICTIMIZATION_A_STUDY_OF_BUCHI_EMECHETAS_THE_JOYS_OF_MOTHERHOOD_1979.